Marriage…Mariage is what brings us together…

My thoughts take time to distill into the right words which is why I show up weeks, months or even years late to certain debates. I know the supreme court ruling on gay marriage is old news but the joy of that ruling will take a long time to fade for me, as will the very strange reaction of those opposed to it. Some people are so upset that it’s mind boggling. Humor me, then, as I attempt to deconstruct this weird phenomenon. For me it comes down to this: there is a great difference between a right and a privilege.

Marrying the person you love is a right. Having that union blessed in the eyes of the law, with all the ratification that comes along with it, healthcare benefits, access to your spouse in case of hospitalization etc. are all rights. It’s always been my belief that I can have rights and you can have the same rights and neither of us takes anything away from the other by doing so. Equality is called that for a reason. It is equal. For instance, when women got the right to vote, men continued to vote as well. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

To my mind something similarly historic has happened. For the first time in this country the marriage landscape is equal. My gay friends have just as much right to be married as I do. Huzzah! and welcome. My marriage is not affected by this. I can still get married again tomorrow if we want.  Straight people have not lost anything that is a right. I swear if it wasn’t a headline the average straight person would not have even noticed. It simply does not affect them/us.

So why all the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth? You would think that all straight Christian marriages had just been nullified and we know that’s not true so what gives. Well, people who have a rigid male/female understanding of marriage have lost something. Its called privilege. They have lost their exclusive dominance over what a marriage looks like. People hate to lose privilege probably more than they hate to admit that they have it in the first place. They hide behind rhetoric and theology and anything that they think makes them look justified but in all honesty bemoaning the loss of your priviledge is just in the poorest taste possible. Seriously you look like a jerk. Just stop.

Thanks for reading.


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