feminism, LGBTQ, Uncategorized

No More!

I’ve seen a lot of very well-intentioned people asking for those of us on the losing side to be calm and rational and kind. I want to take a moment to ask you to please stop.
After listening to a year of a hates spat in our ears we are now faced with the bleakest future in generations.

People are afraid with good reason.

Some are facing mandatory registration for their religious affiliation, loss of their marriage rights, loss of a dream of being able to have children/adopt, loss of identity. 

People you know and care about are in eminent danger.

The building is on fire! You cannot just love the fire away!

All of our hope for future has been snatched away and we are under absolutely no obligation to be nice.

Racists, sexists, transphobes, fatphobes, homophopes, ablist, xenophobes around us are emboldened to express their vile inhuman beliefs because now they are validated by the powers that be. People are going back into the closet and de-transitioning for the sake of their safety.

We do not need to be tone policed in this hour of crisis.

Positive thinking isn’t going to solve this situation. 

We do not need to turn the other cheek anymore. We need to stand side by side with all the people facing oppression under this new regime and say “NO MORE!”


We need to roll up our sleeves and dive into the fray.

We need to scream out for those who cannot do so and if that scream is a snarl so be it!

If we sit back politely the tank treads will roll over our brethren and their blood will be on our hands, yours and mine, and I for one will not accept that stain on my soul.

For my part I am headed north, not simply to escape but with the determination to create a safe haven for those who may very well need it.

A white supremacist is heading into the white house. We cannot possibly overreact in this situation and anxiety quite often manifests as rage.

Please do not attempt to take people’s anger for you do them a disservice.

Anger is the backbone of healing. It is the motivator than is going make us realize we can’t simply love this situation into control. This is the moment to wake up! Many of us woke up months ago. For us our democracy has now been snatched away twice. 

When everything else has been taken from us please do not also take that one thing that can propel us forward.

In the words of King Arthur as written by William Nicholson

“I command you now all… to FIGHT! Fight like you’ve never fought before. Never Surrender! Never Surrender!”

We need to fight prejudice where we find it. Call it out wherever you are. Start a dialogue that is uncomfortable. Speak up whether it’s in the street or at your work or in a social setting.

This election was lost to the louder lies of hate and bigotry. Now is the time we have to speak up and louder than before. Drown out the ignorance around you. Hold people accountable for the unconscionable things they say.

Scream NO!

The road that got us here is paved with our being nice.



feminism, LGBTQ, Uncategorized

What CAN we do?

Never has it been more important for those of us that are or present as straight to leverage our privilege to make this world a safe place for out LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

We need to be the safety that we want to see in the world.

While it may seem that there is nothing we can do that will make an impact and it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the vastness of bullying and discrimination out there, one thing is certainly within our power.

Do not let hate or hate speak flourish in your presence, whether it is your physical presence or even just your facebook page.

Stand up and be counted. It can be as easy as blocking someone who is victim blaming and telling them why.

Call people on their bullshit. Speak up even if it’s just shutting down someone being a jerk on social media.

People are more likely to listen to the opinion of someone who seems like them, ie straight.

Even if you don’t know a single person in the community I bet you have interacted with someone at some point.

Think of the woman standing behind you in the grocery line, the man driving next to you. Would you want to see them gunned down for any reason?

I hope the answer is no.

It doesn’t matter if you know someone personally affected.

This is not happening in a vacuum. It’s not happening on another planet or even in another country, to borrow an expression from Greg Proops who is a genius at drawing attention to social issues.

This is happening right here right now inside our borders and attitudes like that of the person who committed this atrocity are allowed to flourish when good people do nothing and say nothing.

Be an ally. Make it known that you are a safe person to interact with. Be brave enough to wear a button that says you are an ally.

Speak up. Stand up. Just say “no, not around me. I will not let you get away with being an ignorant, hateful, ass in my presence.”

There is always something we can do to help and if you look for a way to do so, you will find it.

visit Glaad for information on being an ally.